Caring for the family

There is little doubt that it is around the family and home that all the greatest virtues of human beings lie. As a caring member of one’s family one wins respect and surely one of the oldest human needs is to have someone wonder where you are when you come home late.

While caring is a responsibility that has to be shouldered by all members of a family, when it comes to children caring for their old parents one is tempted to recall a Chinese story of wisdom. A wealthy young man treated his father badly and provided him with only a coconut shell to eat food from. One day the young man saw his little son playing with a coconut shell and asked him what he was doing. The boy replied, ``I am preparing this shell for you. When you grow old, I will give you food to eat in this shell.'' The young man learnt his lesson promptly.

In these days of urban rat race and nuclear family, old people get a raw deal both at home and in work places and their lot is growing worse by the day. However, studies in the US show that older people make for much better employees.

In 1988 one management professor in Alabama, reviewed reports from such firms as Polaroid Corporation and General Electric, besides a pile of academic research pertaining to workers above the age of 50. He found that workers aged more than 50 were healthier than their younger colleagues and, when trained properly, more eager to learn new skills.

In homes too, the old prove themselves an asset. In India, as the number of working couples increases, old parents play an useful and crucial role in house-keeping and bringing up children. Studies suggest that children looked after by grandparents are emotionally more stable than those who are left alone or exposed to impersonal care like old people homes. During the US presidential elections when Mr Clinton talked of America as one big family, someone perceptively asked him, ``If we are a family, why are the poor in the family under attack?''

A family whose members are at variance with each other are the most unhappy because it does not take much to change bonds of affection into bitter hatred. In such situations, it is best to try and resolve the differences at hand but if this brings no respite then probably the best thing to do if one can afford it, is to stay separately.